...losing my religion...

... in the past few years of university i have struggled with holding on to family tradition vs. serious conflicting views with the Chrristian faith...

... and at times feeling ashamed of being part of a faith that is completely anthropocentric and unacceptable of lifestyles that i am proud to live amongst...

... i have developed what people simply call "spirtituality" but i often feel the need to define my smorgasboard of religion...

... maybe this is a generation not for conventional religion... maybe conventional religion is just not for me...

... i really miss my sister...

... these days she is going through alot of shitty things... and her pain is mine too... we are connected on a level that many people don't understand...

... to say she was my best friend would be an understatment... she is my soul sister and the one person on earth who truly get me and will forever be there for me...

... last week we spoke on the phone and despite the terrible week i was having we both left the conversation in tears... tears from laughing so hard...

... i'm going to try to call her today...

... between bike rides and second hand clothes shopping...

... pictures left as reminders and snail memorabilia ...

... coffee over newspapers...

... the reason i love you has never been lost....

... several things have thrown me for a loop this week...

... when i feel like i may have a grasp on one thing if feels like others begin to untwine...

... a question came out of the blue... i'm not sure why we have gotten ourselves back at this point... but maybe we never got away to begin with...

... it was a relief and truly what i have been wanting to hear..

... it is just so frustrating to become adjusted to one way finally and to feel like feelings are up in the air again...

... i just wish i could be something to be sure about...

... as i have said... i just want it to work out...

... i think i have an ulcer... and although i am known for self diagnosis... my doctor agrees with me this time...

... not that i find this overly suprising considering my constant state of stress and anixiety but scary none the less...

... unfortantly if this is so, i will have to give up on some of my wicked habits... drinking, smoking and coffee...

... i know what is left after you that that all away...

... but i have a solution... pot...

... i am home...

... and it feels good...

... i have been connecting with old friends... it's weird after all these years but it comes so naturally...

... i guess that is the beauty about it... is that old friendships are like a hot coals that remain after a blazing fire just waiting for some one to roll up some newspaper, give it a little blow and thrown in some wood... and there is it blazing again...

..ok weird analogy... but you catch my drift...

... i don't give a damn...

.. i used to but it got me nowhere therefore when it comes to you... i take a "whatever" stance on all related topics...

... in other news but minorly related... i am on the look out for something new...